My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
