Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
