Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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