what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
