i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
