So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
