Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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