I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
