I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
