You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
