Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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