Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
