He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
