1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
