it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
whose parrot is this?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
