just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
