Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
