She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
