I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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