I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
