matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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