P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
