I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
