And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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