The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
