you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
