A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's rum buckets o'clock
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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