i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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