I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
