whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
