i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
