We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
vagina is talking i cant
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
