In the future we'll all be gay
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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