Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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