break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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