omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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