1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
