Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
