Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
