sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
