Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
