She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
