he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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