he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
