So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
