I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
