I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
