a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
