I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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