That's intense
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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