you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
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